Couples

How often does a sexologist have sex?

How often does a sexologist have sex?

Surely a person who has studied and works with sex every day has A LOT of sex…Right? Right? *cicadas* Well, no. Sexual frequency is such a personal thing and in this blog and in my life, I keep the focus on the quality rather than the quantity and I only ever want the same for you. Here is your permission slip to have a sex life kinda like mine…

How to bring the romance back into your relationship

How to bring the romance back into your relationship

Candles, flowers, champagne, rugged Scottish men or women sweeping you off your feet…what one person finds ROMANTIC and what another person does can be two different things. Promise me, no more just wishing romance will come into your relationship without you saying or doing something. Read this first, it’ll help you to get clear and give you a few how-to’s with bringing the romance back into your relationship quick smart.

Will our relationship last if the sex is bad?

Will our relationship last if the sex is bad?

Sex isn’t everything in a relationship but when it is bad or crap…well, it starts to become pretty darn important. Now, it may not be a reflection of you two as a couple - more a reflection of bad habits. Deep breath before you read this one - it’s a truth talk extravaganza. I’m getting real with you about some of the reasons why your relationship might not outlast the bad sex that’s happening.

How to get sex started when it’s been a long time

How to get sex started when it’s been a long time

This time around, we aren’t going to talk about the why’s or the what happened’s that got you in a place of low libido, low desire and low interest although, those are important. Today, we are going to talk about 5 things you can do to break the ice when it has been a long time since you had sex. Totally realistic and totally gentle, I promise.

Intimacy after pregnancy loss, stillbirth and miscarriage

Intimacy after pregnancy loss, stillbirth and miscarriage

Thousands of women go through pregnancy loss every year - how does intimacy and our relationship come out the other side of that? I’m so fortunate to call Lauren a friend after we met when we were selected to give our TED-like talks at the Women’s Health + Fitness Summit last year. We decided to talk more now that the dust has settled on our big talks by doing a Facebook Live special talking Intimacy after pregnancy loss. Featuring Lauren Hewes of Tiny Ladder.

3 ways to be better at giving in sex

3 ways to be better at giving in sex

The people who make the best givers are those who know how to receive. Yup, I stand by that! Last weeks blog was ALL about receiving and getting to a much better place with that. Now, I want women to create better boundaries and containers around their giving so that it comes from a much healthier, less martyr-mode driven place. This one is important.

3 ways to be better at receiving in sex

3 ways to be better at receiving in sex

Women, women, women. We can’t just be ALL give. It’s a boring narrative and we are missing out on some really deep and liberating experiences when we don’t allow ourselves to receive. Let’s flip the script starting now - here are 3 ways you can warm up to receiving in life + sex when you are so hot for giving.

9 ways that you can be sexual without intercourse

9 ways that you can be sexual without intercourse

You have said to me: Lauren, we want V A R I E T Y in our sex life BUT…we don’t actually know what to do. What IS there besides intercourse? I hear you. Maybe you’ve forgotten. Maybe you’ve both become complacent and said…just put it in. Maybe, you just want it all over and done with. I’m putting it out there that there is another way. Actually, 9+ other ways. Read on…

Why a sexologist would tell you NOT to have sex

Why a sexologist would tell you NOT to have sex

You want to want to have sex and to improve your sex life - more frequency and more quality. But as you sit down in front of a qualified sexologist, she says: you need to stop having sex.

Why? This isn’t a riddle but a real question…in this blog post, I give you the answer and tell you why it allows something much better to grow on the other side (hint: that better thing is a good sex life)

Permission to open : Why do I shutdown in sex?

Permission to open : Why do I shutdown in sex?

You’ve shutdown in and about sex more times than you can remember. There may have been a pivotal moment you’ll never forget or maybe it was this gradual disconnection that happened over time. Each factor compounding the last. Whatever the origin, I want to give you permission to open and move out of sexual shutdown…

I’m separated and about to date – should I do something about my sex life if I’m single? 

I’m separated and about to date – should I do something about my sex life if I’m single? 

The tears might still be fresh in your eyes from your separation…you might be wondering how you are ever going to feel open to the next relationship…you wonder if you’ll ever have sex again (or feel like sex again based on how it all went last time!) But, things will change, shift and evolve and this article has been written to walk you through the process my clients have been through when they are in the limbo of separation and considering dating again…

Help! I want to get our old sex life back!

Help! I want to get our old sex life back!

Wanting it BACK and getting it BACK can give you a little bit of mojo to re-prioritise your sex life when it’s been quiet. Positive sexual memories are so important when we’re lost at sea but you aren’t actually going that way… The following is my two-prong approach to instilling hope and life into your next sexual chapter.

Bored with your sex life? What to do when sex isn’t fun anymore

Bored with your sex life? What to do when sex isn’t fun anymore

You’ve got to source the treasure to get to the pleasure…

You can't have a desert in your relationship and expect the bedroom to be in full bloom (well, unless the whole desert thing turns you on.)

So, if familiarity and boredom are the status quo in your relationship then it's time for a shake up. So here it is: a pleasure map containing 10 big tips to source or re-source the treasure in your relationship.

How to prioritise your sex life when you are busy

How to prioritise your sex life when you are busy

Busy, flustered, run down and overwhelmed are the name of the modern-day game. But all of these states spell something seriously toxic for your beautiful libido.

This blog needs to come with a warning for it’s exceptionally high level of truth talk where I kindly inform you that you aren’t actually busy (but you are choosing to be) and how you can create space for intimacy all by unearthing a few old time blocks.

How to feel sexually confident with your partner (when you’re feeling anxious)

How to feel sexually confident with your partner (when you’re feeling anxious)

There is a gap that exists between anxiety and confidence. A leap even.

It isn’t too hard to close this gap, you’ve just got to believe that anxiety isn’t your permanent state and that everything you need to become the sexual woman is inside of you. Seriously. Anxiety wants to tell you that this is how it is only, it doesn’t always tell the truth. Let’s reduce your anxiety so that you can come into confidence with the following 5 tips.

What to do when your partner has a higher libido than you

What to do when your partner has a higher libido than you

They have a HIGH libido and I have none.

Words I have heard a bazillion times but simply aren’t true. Can you hear me? They aren’t true! This one is for both of you: how you can feel your libido when you are out of touch with it and how your partner with the “higher” libido can meet you in more ways than sexually. This is an important read.

Intimacy after deployment: 7 practical tips for couples feeling awkward after a long deployment or separation

Intimacy after deployment: 7 practical tips for couples feeling awkward after a long deployment or separation

Hands up who has done a long-distance relationship?

I have and it was…testing. I didn’t know then what I know now but if I did, maybe those earlier years would have been a little more connecting. The following is my best-of when it comes to advice for getting back into intimacy for those in a relationship with a partner who does fly-in-fly-out or goes on deployment. I know it isn’t easy but hopefully some of this settles the bumps and awkwardness that happens when you reunite after a big period of enforced separation.

If he’s the love of my life, then why am I not sexually interested in my husband?

If he’s the love of my life, then why am I not sexually interested in my husband?

Long-term relationships are riddled with sexual disinterest. But why?

Shouldn’t things get better as our love grows deeper? One of the biggest conundrums my clients have is getting their heads and bodies around the fact that you can feel safe and in love but not want to have sex. If this is you, read on to get some insights into what could be going on and what you can shift to get the interest flowing again.

The 5 best sexual positions for when you feel anxious and shy in sex (and missionary isn’t one of them!)

The 5 best sexual positions for when you feel anxious and shy in sex (and missionary isn’t one of them!)

Oh missionary. It works but, let’s be honest.

It is kind of in the realm of been-there-done-that.

Just because you feel shy, awkward or inhibited in sex, doesn’t mean that you need to stick to the one bland flavour of sexual intercourse. Deep breath, here are 5 alternative sexual positions that will help you to feel comfortable as you open up to intimacy.

COUPLES: 5 ways to get into sex and intimacy on holidays

COUPLES: 5 ways to get into sex and intimacy on holidays

Your holiday is booked. You are so ready for the relaxation part but then you get tense thinking about all that time alone with your partner. You know they are going to want to have sex, maybe more often than usual because you are obligation free. Crap. What excuses can you use not to? What new ways can you avoid them? Well, rather than shutdown, I reckon you've got it in you to OPEN up. Here are 5 ways you can do that to make for some good quality holiday sex...