How to want to have sex when you're in a long-term relationship
She’d say to me: “I want to want sex”…
But what if wanting was never the problem?
Over the last 13 years, one of the most common confessions I’ve heard from women is:
“I want to want sex.”
Not I want sex.
Not I crave intimacy.
But I want to want it.
A quiet admission wrapped in frustration and confusion.
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Because like these women, you’re not in a sexless relationship. You love your partner. You want to want them.
But the truth you can’t reconcile is your connection to sex feels faint, fleeting, or sometimes missing altogether.
So you do what women do to maintain the status quo – you reassure. You tell your partner it’s fine, it’s temporary, and once this phase passes, you’ll feel like it again.
And quietly, you keep a Plan B tucked away: book the hotel, stage the scene, manufacture the spark, and hope desire shows up to validate the expense.
But deep down, you know none of it makes sex and intimacy feel any more desirable to you.
Because the problem was never your desire.
It’s that you haven’t yet realised: even in the charged space of sex, you can turn any internal state into raw fuel that moves you closer to climax.
In chasing stability, success, and dependability, you were conditioned to sacrifice your own pleasure, instead of learning to extract it on command.
That’s why intimacy has become just another thing to hold – something with little incentive in it for you.
Because when you’re always the one leading, controlling, deciding, pleasing…
You can’t sink back into and enjoy what’s just for you. You can’t amplify the pleasure that’s right there.
Up until now, your power has been bound up in *holding the energy* instead of allowing the gentle hum of eroticism be your baseline.
But the moment you reclaim your power as a sexual woman…as an erotic alchemist…
…you release desire from the burden of having to show up.
…you transmute heaviness into turn-on.
…and you start having sex that feels better than good.
That shift doesn’t just change your relationship to them.
It cracks everything open.
Because the potency with which you alchemise in the bedroom mirrors the way you alchemise more in business, leadership and love.
It’s never been about trying harder or forcing desire.
It’s about finally claiming your innate power as the one who turns resistance into pure erotic gold.
This is the transformation that awaits you in my one-time session Unleash Your Potency – where the deep fire within you ignites the next level of sex, intimacy, power and pleasure….
