ARE YOU READY FOR THE BEST CONVERSATION YOU (PROBABLY) NEVER HAD?
I’m Lauren and there are heaps of reasons why I am the right woman for the very important job of helping you to reclaim your mojo and libido for sex and life. But before I do that, these are my qualifications that back up my natural skills to help you have the best conversation you (probably) never had.
CURTIN UNIVERSITY, PERTH, WA
Postgraduate Diploma in Sexology - Won the Award for Highest Academic Achievement
INSTITUTE OF SOMATIC SEXOLOGY, AUS
Certificate of Sexological Bodywork
AUSTRALIAN COLLEGE OF APPLIED PSYCHOLOGY, BRISBANE, QLD
Graduate Diploma of Counselling
UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY, SYDNEY, NSW
Bachelor of Nursing with Credit
the quickstart guide to me:
Sex Geek / Devoted Mama / Balanced Libran / INFJ / Enneagram - The Helper / Taboo Conversationalist / Loyal Confidante / Avid Writer / Lounge Room Dancer Extraordinaire
To give a bit of background, I didn’t become a sexologist because I had a high libido.
Or so I thought...(spoiler alert, turns out I do but it was just in hiding).
Like lots of other people, I was drawn to learning about human sexuality in a formal way because of my own high levels of fear but equally high levels of desire about this very taboo topic. Once that door was opened well, it never really shut again. Call me impassioned or call me a little addicted but it didn’t take long to work out that my purpose here on Earth is to help women live their lives with their libido at the forefront of their mind, heart and of course, down there.
Did it just suddenly get warm in here?
I'm a totally grounded woman but with special saucy skills...
My inner sexual world and expression is no different to yours. We probably started off hearing all the same crappy and shameful messages about female sexuality. The only difference is that I have learnt to drown out the white noise and increase the volume on all the stuff in life that feels good. Because that is what it is all about!
I won't pretend that I was born a Tantric goddess and have had a straight ascending line of libido improvement as time goes on because #thatisnothowlifegoes. Before I started learning about sex, my connection to it was patchy at best. It was on…it was off (a lot more than it was on) and what this looked like was sexual energy that spilt out into all the wrong places (and people) and a whole lot of confusion.
I didn’t understand that in suppressing this fire in me for so long and living life as a good girl, a smart good and a good wife that I would be sitting there at age 27 very…confused. I loved my husband but felt so shutdown and closed off.
I wanted it but I didn’t want it. I hated being vulnerable and hated being seen. I judged all of sex as kind of negative unless I had a few drinks and suddenly had the permission to let loose. Sound familiar?
At the heart of it all, I didn't have a fulfilling sex life and it didn’t create flow between us as a couple. I kept defaulting to having my husband work it all out for me and being plain lazy about my own role in our sex life.
Learning about my sexuality formally and informally changed all that.
I grew up, owned my role in my marriage and got into the very raw business of unearthing my libido for me. The result now is that while I still have lapses into an un-libidinous life at times (when stress is high or during pregnancy and postpartum recovery - totally normal!); these lapses don’t last for long and I know how to come back to my libido quickly. Not that it's about speed, more about clarity and efficiency with a lot less anxiety.
Now, when I say libido, you might be scratching your head...
First of all – a few basics. I use the word libido in the most holistic of ways. In my world, my libido is an ally that guides my mind, my intuition, my heart and my pussy. It's my oracle, my compass and my barometer and it thrives off of being activated. The best definition of libido I have ever come across is by Alisa Vitti who states:
Your libido is your ability to give and receive pleasure, enjoyment and acknowledgment.
Notice anything strange? There is no mention of the word sex or the erotic or even the sensual. That’s because your libido moves from your outside life into your very intimate and private sexual life. One influences the other and visa versa. The woman who enjoys pleasure, is comfortable receiving compliments and acknowledges the presence of others is primed to have a more satisfying sex life because these are qualities that come through in sex.
Move with your libido in your life and you will feel more confident to move with your libido in sex.
I know you are tiiiiired of feeling like sex is something you just don’t get. I really mean that I get that you don't get it. Get it?
In short, I'm the real deal.
If you have ever met one of those people that are so passionate about what they are doing that they get very excitable, kind of giggly and talkative when their speciality topic arises, well, that’s me!
To give a little bit of background, I was a nurse for a LONG time; helping people in the very stigmatised areas of mental health and drug dependency. But I wanted more and I kind of got what I asked for but it hasn't come easy. A business that focuses on the taboo that is female sexuality. Yikes!
Ripe off finishing my degree and collecting my Award for Highest Academic Achievement (*brushes shoulders off*) in 2012, I decided to start my offering as Sexosophy - a safe space for women to shed the beliefs, mindsets and lack of confidence that were holding them back from the sex life that they were truly worthy of. A lot has changed since the creation of Sexosophy (including a name change to Lauren White in May 2017) because I've changed. But that original intention still underpins everything that I offer.
I like getting out there when I can both virtually and in the flesh. I've done lots of speaking, workshops and seminars - the most significant being securing a Platform position at the Women’s Health + Fitness Summit 2018 where I gave a TED-like talk on women’s internal experience of pain with sex and it’s right below:
I have also written THE book that needed to be written for women and it is out there in the world - seriously, Permission: Personal liberation for switched on women is a game changer and you can get your free 30 pages of the book HERE (and the pic of me smiling below is what I always looked like when I was writing!) There's also tonnes of free advice blogs on my site about navigating through female sexuality - check them out later if you haven't already.
Finally, Women choose me because they feel safe
They also see very quickly that they are understood, just as they are. They love the follow and lead process I offer in rich 1.1 sessions that make room for expression, integration and all the words that need to be said. My clients learn about the connection between their minds and their bodies from the first session so that they can be more present during sex rather than looking outside for something magical to do it for them.
I love it and I could go on but that's enough from me for now. This is what my truly excellent client's have to say!
Testimonials, love + kind words...
“Within ten minutes of my first session with Lauren my fears melted away to be replaced by real and genuine hope and comfortability inspired by Lauren’s incredible warmth, honestly, vibrancy and energy which somehow makes you feel heard, justified and looked after all at once! My terror at letting a stranger see into my most personal moments never came to fruition, as it is impossible to meet Lauren and consider her a stranger. Every thought you express to her, which you have held on to and felt lonely with, with she understands and lets you know you are not alone. Her knowledge of sexuality, the female body and relationships is outstanding, and she can explain to you in depth what and why you are feeling the way you are when even you are unsure. She offers genuinely helpful tasks and advice to aid you through your sexuality journey , and understands how your changes will affect your partner, if one is present in your life. Whilst I expected to become more ‘secure’ in my sexual relationships over the four sessions I had, I become something much more intrinsically valuable and sustainable: confident in what I want and what I deserve. - Amber, Brisbane
"I just wanted to thank you for my sessions. Honestly, it’s been the best money I have spent on therapy for myself. You understood very quickly each session where I was at and always gave something for me to take away and work on. You've helped me change my life. I’m living proof of how quickly when you are prepared to do the work and have a great mentor and role model, you can achieve such major results with issues around confidence, ability to orgasm and understanding my body and mind. I am feeling the pleasure in my body I always knew existed but couldn’t tap into. - Jean, Brisbane
“Before seeing Lauren I didn't feel very connected to my self and saw my body and my head working in opposition. I had a lot of expectations on myself both in and out of the bedroom which was affecting my confidence, my sex drive and my relationship. Lauren was amazing, she was so calming and reassuring that I was totally normal. The sessions were really reflective and covered a wide range of aspects of my life. She helped to manage expectations and gave me skills/ tips for overcoming my concerns. I feel like my body and mind are now more connected than ever. I am feel like myself again and more confident. - Anna, Brisbane
“Over the last 8 months, I saw Lauren for 5 sessions and am amazed at how much things have changed for me by taking on the new ideas, perspectives and information that was presented and discussed with me. Lauren has formulated a unique program that is of huge benefit to women. I felt very comfortable in the sessions, as Lauren has a wonderful way of relating and of making the subject matter all seem very normal! I realised there was so much I really didn’t know, and I feel now I can move forward into new relationships with much more knowing and understanding about who I am and what I need. I would highly recommend Lauren to any woman who would like to have more depth and understanding of their sensuality and sexuality. — Wendy, Brisbane
“When you first meet Lauren you can’t help but feel comfortable. She is so warm, open, loving, compassionate you just want to spill the beans to her. She has a calming presence that makes you feel like you are one of her best friends. She is an amazing listener and knows how to make you laugh. I love how in touch she is with her femininity, her sexuality, her learning and her spirituality and is so open with sharing this with everyone. — Nicole Barralet, Brisbane, Photographer
“Lauren is understanding, open and energetic. She goes above and beyond with her skills and knowledge to gently guide you through your journey to unleashing your inner goddess. Her services are provided in a safe and private location where you can just be you. I’d recommend the tantric sessions as you can really purge all that built up emotional energy and feel light, sexy and empowered. Thank you Lauren, I will be back to continue along my sexual empowerment journey soon. — Mindy, Brisbane
“I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders! I didn’t realise that I had so much emotion bottled up inside which has been causing a blockage in my relationship and sexuality. I am starting to feel a lot happier and more relaxed and have already noticed a positive change in my relationship. I am excited to take your advice home with me! — Gemma, Brisbane
“Lauren is such a caring, open, understanding, knowledgeable and authentic coach. I felt completely comfortable working with her throughout my personal program. I had a total of 5 sessions, some talk-based, some body-focused, and by the end of the 5th session, felt that I had learned so much, really developed my sexual and sensual awareness, and actually worked through some very profound transformative experiences related to emotional and physical aspects of my sexual history. The process allowed me to reconnect with my sexuality in a very positive healing way. I would thoroughly recommend Lauren to anyone who is considering that it may enhance their current life journey. — Kim, Brisbane
"Taking the brave step to find a sex coach has been such a rewarding and expansive experience in my personal evolution. Before I went I wasn’t even sure if I had much to deal with, but I trusted my gut and made my first appointment. Lauren made me feel so comfortable and supported that the stories flowed and the pain points emerged effortlessly and in the mere outing of them was the transformation and relief I had been needing. Lauren guides you gently and intuitively into self discovery with her wealth of knowledge and passion in the area of sex and womanhood. We all have pain to heal when it comes to our sexuality, I recommend Lauren to every woman out there. - Nicole, Brisbane
“During my four sessions and emails with Lauren I felt I could communicate honestly and openly. Lauren was so warm, generous and considerate. She gave me much needed knowledge and permission to start to listen to my body, be comfortable with myself and get out of my head! At the start of the sessions I was deeply frustrated and at a loss with how to overcome the barriers I was experiencing with myself and my partner. Throughout the sessions Lauren has helped alleviate my concerns and set me on a path to restore my self-confidence and sexuality— Sarah, Brisbane
'“I felt extremely nervous before my first session. My husband and I had never managed to have sex. I'd never revealed this to anyone, how was I going to open up to a stranger?
My nerves quickly dissipated. Lauren has this aura about her that's welcoming and makes you feel at ease. She is so easy to talk to. You feel like you're talking to a best friend (but better, because she can give you legit advice!). I'd look forward to sessions, that sacred time where I could put aside everything else and focus on me. She is non-judgemental, patient, supportive. I could reach out at any time between sessions, no question was too intimate.
There was no game-plan, no set structure. Yet somehow Lauren managed to guide me exactly where I needed to be. Now I feel empowered. We have sex not only because we can, but because we want to.
Seeing Lauren changed my life, I can never thank her enough. - Natalie, Brisbane
“I discovered Lauren via the power of Google. Totally lost and grieving for a marriage and husband that had long since been lost to me, Lauren gave me the ability to cope with a world that had been completely upended. I was out of my depth, drowning in a black hole. It wasn't only about working my way through a 14 year union ending, it was about dealing with long standing issues that played a part in the breakdown, and finding an identity for me again and seeking out the joy that life can offer. It's a new year and life suddenly seems abundant with opportunities not previously in sight. I could not have found my way back if Lauren hadn't helped to guide me. She was understanding, so empathetic and so adept at framing things in a perspective that I hadn't previously considered, but that turned out to be 100% spot on. I am forever grateful to you, Lauren, for your support and continued communication. The first and best choice I made in stepping into a new world was asking for your help. - Lauren, Brisbane
“I just wanted to let you know that after every session I feel so much better. It's almost like a regular cleanse or detox. Most importantly you give me reason, or maybe clarity, to hope that brighter and happier times are on their way and although it might not play out that way it's the idea of hope that helps to give me reason or strength to keep moving and greeting each day. I would definitely have been worse off and unable to dig my way out of this if I hadn't found you through Google power. - Lara, Brisbane
"Now we have sex because I want to do it rather than ticking a box for him. This part of life isn’t a checklist. I’ve re-ignited the free spirit that I was before children, chilling out, laughing more.
You can never feel sexual when you feel disgusted by yourself. When I am chilled out I feel more sexual because I like that version of myself more. I am more receptive, loving. When I have the next baby I need to remember that I am still sexual. I’ve learnt the process of how I came into a negative space and how I can come back. I don’t have to be afraid of my sexuality. This has been a success! - Kelly, Brisbane
“Engaging in sessions with Lauren has helped me to work through issues around my sex life including exploring the impact of events that occurred many moons ago. Lauren is warm, approachable and grounded. She is professional and worth the investment in yourself! - G, Brisbane
“Thank you for your presence, your spirit, your energy and your loving attention...you are a gift to the world. I am so pleased our paths crossed. — Dani, Brisbane
“Thank you Lauren! The advice and knowledge from sex coaching sessions have enabled me to reconnect my mind and body. I have been able to rekindle the passion I used to have and want with my husband. — Tammy, Adelaide
“I gained so much from my sessions with Lauren. I started these sessions a little apprehensive and nervous to discuss such intimate details with someone. But I’ve learned so much and feel so much more confident in myself and my journey. Lauren’s a wonderful listener with great wisdom and great resources to share. Thank you! — Mel, Brisbane
“I have been empowered and given so much confidence. I feel like I’m a completely different person to the girl who started out just under 3 months ago. Every fear I had, has now vanished. I am far more confident in myself, in my body and in my relationship. Lauren’s magic is incredible. — Annie, Brisbane
“I'm so glad I decided to take the plunge and work with Lauren. I've struggled with painful sex (and a lot of fear and avoidance) for years, and was starting to doubt that anyone would ever be able to help me. Right from the first session, Lauren made me feel welcome, understood, normal (!) and optimistic about my sexual future. Over the months we worked together, she offered me practical information about my body and its needs and responses, seemingly simple information that I'd just never heard before, which helped my body start to unlock and open. She also helped me understand the importance of owning my sovereignty and being the permission-granter in my own life. Equipped with a new understanding of my libido (and the confidence that it actually exists!), I've been able to make strides toward a sex life that has never felt attainable to me. I may never be a sex goddess, but the door is now open to empowerment, pleasure and greater intimacy with my husband. Lauren is everything you could want in a coach -- warm, compassionate, non-judgmental, and 100% in your corner. If you're on the fence about seeking help, I can totally vouch for her. She'll fight for you, and teach you how to fight for yourself!
“I feel honoured that I was able to complete this work and that I now feel more connected to myself because of it, I was able to really dig deep into what self-love looked like to me and create a home for that within myself. By the end of the series I felt complete unconditional love for myself no matter what I looked like or what I do, this unconditional self-love had me in tears and overfilling with joy, acceptance and above all else love for myself. Nearly 4 months from when I started the work I still carry these feelings with me each and every day and apply all the lessons to any sexual experience I enter into. — Danielle, Brisbane