Being bisexual in a marriage: Why permission isn't his to grant
I never asked my husband for permission to be bisexual…
…or to explore it.
I never asked him: is it OK if I join this membership, go to this party or act on my deepest desires?
I never waited for the green light.
Ed is – and has always been – my biggest support.
But I don’t ask him: can I do this? Is this OK
Because being married and in a committed relationship doesn’t mean my sexuality is his to grant.
I see this as something so many women trip up on when they self-admit their attraction to women.
Brilliant, whip smart, deeply devoted women who are action oriented in every other area of their lives…
…suddenly stalling on the one thing that matters most privately.
Holding back on even acknowledging: I’d like to explore this for myself.
Simply because they’re secretly waiting for him to say: I’m okay with this for you.
But here’s what I know – as a bi woman and as a sexologist:
You already know what you want.
You’re already ripe to claim your bi identity.
You’re already honest enough with yourself to be reading this.
The only thing standing between you and acting on it is the internal permission slip you keep waiting for someone else to sign.
And you’re not the type of woman who waits.
Do conversations need to happen? Absolutely.
Does your partner deserve honesty and care? Of fucking course.
Are there real considerations when navigating this inside a committed relationship? Definitely.
And that’s exactly the work we do together in my private mentoring process Out of Bounds.
But all that comes after you decide.
After you sign your own permission slip. The one that says: I want this. I’m claiming this. I’m moving forward.
Your bisexuality isn’t a request waiting to be granted. It’s a truth.
