Why I didn’t want to be bisexual (or sexual at all)
If there was a button in the early 2000’s to eradicate my bi curiosity and be 100% hetero…
…I would have pressed it.
I also secretly would have hoped that it took my entire sexual identity with it. So full of shame. So much confusion. So much knowing it could be endless and being daunted AF by that. By it having no bounds.
Now, it’s this no bounds – boundless – aspect of my identity that is the hub of my aliveness.
I’m an out of bounds bitch living a fully rich life in the world of both.
That button I used to seek – I wouldn’t press it for any amount of money, status or false promise of security that tries to convince you life is easier over *there*.
It isn’t.
What I’ve come to learn is being hetero isn’t protection from anything in life that’s worth pursuing.
At best, it’s a shield that makes it easier to meld with the general crowd.
At worst, it’s a muzzle that inhibits you from tasting the full smorgasbord of life. Of humanity.
When you realise you’re bi and there’s no convenient way to get out of it, the temptation is to double down on the aspects of your life and people that conform to the hetero ways.
But instead of investing harder into that conditioned and somewhat conservative programming, what if you started to incrementally live different.
What if you tenderly divested from what you thought you had to be and instead sought out living as the one that knows she’s made to be out of bounds.
Because the intimacy you deeply desire doesn’t exist within the well worn lines.
OUT OF BOUNDS
is the one-month intensive to start privately curating and living out your desired bi identity – even when you’re committed to your long-term relationship.
Confidentiality is a given.
