Permission to not orgasm : Why we need to take the pressure off orgasm

Permission to not orgasm : Why we need to take the pressure off orgasm

Sex = orgasm, right?

Wrong! Sex = connection, intimacy, pleasure, joy, arousal, tranquility and MORE. Orgasm is one part of sex but it’s not the whole thing. Are you ready? You are about to receive the medicine your libido needs and it is: permission to not orgasm.

Permission to feel angry : Why you need to stop suppressing what you really feel

Permission to feel angry : Why you need to stop suppressing what you really feel

Women aren’t meant to get angry. That’s an emotion for men. Sure, we can feel a little frustrated or edgy but anger? No. Way.

Your anger is valid and you have permission to not only feel it but express it. Find out what could be triggering off anger when it comes to sex and intimacy and how you can get it out of you.

Permission to open : Why do I shutdown in sex?

Permission to open : Why do I shutdown in sex?

You’ve shutdown in and about sex more times than you can remember. There may have been a pivotal moment you’ll never forget or maybe it was this gradual disconnection that happened over time. Each factor compounding the last. Whatever the origin, I want to give you permission to open and move out of sexual shutdown…

Female Libido: Is there a pill I can take for my low libido?

Female Libido: Is there a pill I can take for my low libido?

I get asked this on a regular basis - surely by now there is some sort of pill a woman can take when she feels her libido could be more. In this video, I explain why I am glad there isn't a pill for the female libido and what else you can do to enhance presence and arousal. Refreshingly, your body already has all the answers...

I’m separated and about to date – should I do something about my sex life if I’m single? 

I’m separated and about to date – should I do something about my sex life if I’m single? 

The tears might still be fresh in your eyes from your separation…you might be wondering how you are ever going to feel open to the next relationship…you wonder if you’ll ever have sex again (or feel like sex again based on how it all went last time!) But, things will change, shift and evolve and this article has been written to walk you through the process my clients have been through when they are in the limbo of separation and considering dating again…

Your libido and money - reflections of worth and pleasure

Your libido and money - reflections of worth and pleasure

Libido….

Money….

Is there a connection there? I reckon there is! When women get clear on their worth and on the money that comes into their lives, they get more comfortable within their sexual expression because their bodies aren’t in fear and contraction. When the money and worth flows nicely, so too does the sexual energy…

What you need to watch and read when it comes to sex

What you need to watch and read when it comes to sex

Ever gone looking for something to read or watch that had an element of the erotic in it but you just haven’t known where to look? Well, I have some of the answers for you (I say some because I am factoring in how you and I might have different tastes). Here it is: a list of art forms that could get your pulse going…’cos we all need a little nudge every now and then and this is a safe and exciting way to do that (50 Shades free).

Help! I want to get our old sex life back!

Help! I want to get our old sex life back!

Wanting it BACK and getting it BACK can give you a little bit of mojo to re-prioritise your sex life when it’s been quiet. Positive sexual memories are so important when we’re lost at sea but you aren’t actually going that way… The following is my two-prong approach to instilling hope and life into your next sexual chapter.

Bored with your sex life? What to do when sex isn’t fun anymore

Bored with your sex life? What to do when sex isn’t fun anymore

You’ve got to source the treasure to get to the pleasure…

You can't have a desert in your relationship and expect the bedroom to be in full bloom (well, unless the whole desert thing turns you on.)

So, if familiarity and boredom are the status quo in your relationship then it's time for a shake up. So here it is: a pleasure map containing 10 big tips to source or re-source the treasure in your relationship.

8 ways to feel your libido as a mum

8 ways to feel your libido as a mum

Nits, hospital visits, daycare runs, playdates, screaming...it can all feel very...unsexy.

If you are a mama looking for a quick checklist to getting moving back with your libido again then here are my 8 hottest tips. Remember, you can be both a mama and sexual (this is your new mantra). 

 

How to prioritise your sex life when you are busy

How to prioritise your sex life when you are busy

Busy, flustered, run down and overwhelmed are the name of the modern-day game. But all of these states spell something seriously toxic for your beautiful libido.

This blog needs to come with a warning for it’s exceptionally high level of truth talk where I kindly inform you that you aren’t actually busy (but you are choosing to be) and how you can create space for intimacy all by unearthing a few old time blocks.

How to feel sexually confident with your partner (when you’re feeling anxious)

How to feel sexually confident with your partner (when you’re feeling anxious)

There is a gap that exists between anxiety and confidence. A leap even.

It isn’t too hard to close this gap, you’ve just got to believe that anxiety isn’t your permanent state and that everything you need to become the sexual woman is inside of you. Seriously. Anxiety wants to tell you that this is how it is only, it doesn’t always tell the truth. Let’s reduce your anxiety so that you can come into confidence with the following 5 tips.

What to do when your partner has a higher libido than you

What to do when your partner has a higher libido than you

They have a HIGH libido and I have none.

Words I have heard a bazillion times but simply aren’t true. Can you hear me? They aren’t true! This one is for both of you: how you can feel your libido when you are out of touch with it and how your partner with the “higher” libido can meet you in more ways than sexually. This is an important read.

Intimacy after deployment: 7 practical tips for couples feeling awkward after a long deployment or separation

Intimacy after deployment: 7 practical tips for couples feeling awkward after a long deployment or separation

Hands up who has done a long-distance relationship?

I have and it was…testing. I didn’t know then what I know now but if I did, maybe those earlier years would have been a little more connecting. The following is my best-of when it comes to advice for getting back into intimacy for those in a relationship with a partner who does fly-in-fly-out or goes on deployment. I know it isn’t easy but hopefully some of this settles the bumps and awkwardness that happens when you reunite after a big period of enforced separation.

If he’s the love of my life, then why am I not sexually interested in my husband?

If he’s the love of my life, then why am I not sexually interested in my husband?

Long-term relationships are riddled with sexual disinterest. But why?

Shouldn’t things get better as our love grows deeper? One of the biggest conundrums my clients have is getting their heads and bodies around the fact that you can feel safe and in love but not want to have sex. If this is you, read on to get some insights into what could be going on and what you can shift to get the interest flowing again.

The 5 best sexual positions for when you feel anxious and shy in sex (and missionary isn’t one of them!)

The 5 best sexual positions for when you feel anxious and shy in sex (and missionary isn’t one of them!)

Oh missionary. It works but, let’s be honest.

It is kind of in the realm of been-there-done-that.

Just because you feel shy, awkward or inhibited in sex, doesn’t mean that you need to stick to the one bland flavour of sexual intercourse. Deep breath, here are 5 alternative sexual positions that will help you to feel comfortable as you open up to intimacy.

From the sexologists desk: Permission Book UPDATE

From the sexologists desk: Permission Book UPDATE

So. I am writing a book.

And I’m not just saying this off the cuff.

It is well and truly in motion. Happening.

And I want you to be the first to learn ALL about it as it plods (or more aptly flows) along.

Learn more inside about how the idea came to me and what the process of writing a book is like!

Why your libido should be the start of your new beginning

Why your libido should be the start of your new beginning

Whenever we crave a fresh start, our sexuality isn't the first place we usually start. Unfortunately, it usually gets relegated to the 'I'll deal with it later pile'. This is a shame because looking inward at our sexuality and libido can treat the rest of our problems with such potent medicine and make our personal growth to-do list a whole lot smaller. 

Today, I invite you to ask if your libido can be a part of your fresh start (and I'll give you some tips to do that!)