A week ago, I was on the receiving end of a deeply misogynistic line of questioning at an in-person event.
I’m sharing this as I had the courage to be totally still and sovereign in this exchange and it’s my desire that you know you can tap into your sovereignty within a nanosecond.
Hard conversations are a part of life that aren't going anywhere.
If you care about anything in this lifetime, hard conversations are par for the course.
These conversations are a potent mirror for you to go deeper within your own identity - if you allow them to.
This particular person I activated at a networking event last week created a conversation that was testing.
Why it was challenging:
They wouldn't finish what they were asking as a tactic to bait me into answering their condescending question so they didn't have to say explicitly what they were asking.
They insinuated that because of my you-know-what degree, it's "incredible" I'm married (read the subtext of that one - if you know a lot about what happens in the bedroom, surely you engage in physical intimacy with a lot of people).
They challenged me on the female libido and saying "that can't be right..." Mmmm I believe my 10 years as an expert might just put my knowledge in a different arena to yours.
The undercurrent of the unspoken was charged with an air that didn't do it for me. I was totally turned off.
How did I respond to this?
I held my own.
I ignited my Sovereignty in the first whiff of this BS.
No one and I mean NO ONE makes me fawn to their outdated, patriarchal belief system.
I could feel a gold rod in my body, centering me. I was poised. Elegant. I made eye contact. I WAITED patiently so that they could explain themselves rather than fumbling and stepping in to speak for them or give them what they wanted.
They wanted me to submit - I didn't give them the satisfaction.
And in feeling my Authority...in feeling my Power.
I felt immense PLEASURE.
My Sovereignty informs me that I can be in any room in the world and belong because I belong to me. And if I'm not satisfied or fulfilled in that room - I go create when I belong.
It's that knowing that makes me powerful beyond stats, algorithms, bank balances and soulless data on a screen.
Here's the simplest way I can break-down what happened in that misogynistic interaction.
My intuition said: red alert early on. There was a power play early in the conversation that had me suspecting they wanted to dominate
I dropped down into my body and said: this will be a walk in the park. They are scared and don't know what you know. Be sovereign and put the work into action
I stayed still in my body - not a freeze response - a conscious stillness
I always waited for them to finish what they were saying and made them wallow in discomfort. I didn't rescue them. I treated them as a sovereign being too
When they responded with remarks like: that's interesting said with an incredulous tone, I'd say: why is that interesting? Make them work for it. Don't pander. Why is it interesting that I have my niche degree and am married?
I wasn't afraid to ask. Don't be afraid to ask: why? Why not? What do you mean by that? Slow down your breathing when you feel the bait happening and like a tennis match, bounce the ball back to them. It's not your sh!t to hold.
These conversations - it's your Sovereignty that holds them.
Allow your Sovereignty to clear out these kinds of people and you get closer to having fun seducing who you want to play with and being sensual in your adventures with them.
In my world, the Sovereign always comes first.
So many people still don't get that these conversations aren't a 'that's just the way it is with people like this'
Fawning might feel easier in the moment but fawning has no long-term potency for you. It will never ignite your flame for the infinite more inside of you.
What I want you to know is:
Being in your power is an untapped high.
Holding your own is like fortifying your turn on.
The hard conversations will happen - that is a given.
The question is: who do you want to be when they happen?
Are you prepared to drop the metaphorical mask so you can root down and rise up to the challenge?
And are you not just willing but wanting to meet your most Sovereign self?
The hard questions won't change. What you can change is how you respond to them.
This is what it is to say yes to Embodied Leadership and my bespoke methods that have myself and my clients killing off the operating mode that is keeping you suspended from who you know you can be - powerful. Pleasure-filled. Sovereign.
If you want my unwavering support to become the future of leadership - take the first step here.
Lauren Xo