Being a bisexual woman in business: Four years after coming out on my podcast

It was close to 10pm on a random Tuesday night when the voice in my head said: get up. Record this. Put it out into the world.

No planning. No script. No idea what was about to happen to my life.

I got up, recorded the episode, handed it to my podcast team and then started calling the people who mattered most to me – one by one – to tell them what was coming.

Because I'd made a decision.

I was done being secret about this. And I needed to find out sooner rather than later — would anyone reject me? Would I stop being loved?

I just had to know.

That was 2021. I came out as bisexual on my podcast and the world of podcasting heard it first.

This is what has happened in the four years since.

LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE ABOVE THAT INCLUDES THE ORIGINAL 2021 EPISODE & MY UPDATE FROM 2025 OR WATCH JUST THE 2025 UPDATE BELOW ON YOUTUBE

What I had to tell myself before I pressed record

Before I released that episode I had to go to base survival and say to myself: when everyone who doesn't already know this finds out – even if all of them reject me – I will still be more than okay.

That was the permission slip I had to sign for myself.

Not anyone else's. Mine.

And then I did the thing in order to be the thing. I recorded it, released it and started living as a bisexual woman publicly.

The episode went out. My family knew. My audience knew.

And my life didn't end.

What happened instead was far more interesting.

The four years since

The most challenging part wasn't the coming out itself – it was navigating being on the end of other people's projections and repressions.

The prying questions. The patriarchal lines of questioning designed to make you feel small. The people whose own unmet desires I could feel coming through every word they said to me.

I had to be nimble. Sovereign. Unapologetic.

And what I discovered on the other side of that was something I want every bi and bi-curious woman to know:

I feel more alive. More myself. More at ease in my own skin than I have ever felt in my life.

Particularly in queer spaces – where I don't have to mask, perform or explain myself. Where the people around me have gone deep into who they are and loved themselves regardless of whether anyone reciprocated that love. Where life is full colour rather than monochrome.

The queer people I know have richer, more fulfilling and more interesting lives because they've had to face their shame head on. And the outcome of that is a bright, colour-filled life that isn't shrouded in it.

I've had to face my shame head on too.

And it has made me more nuanced, more resilient and more powerful than I have ever been.

What's happened with Ed

Our relationship — 23 years and counting — is more secure now than it was before that Tuesday night.

Since that episode we've done deep work together. We've seen our embodied counsellor. We got a second place for a year. We renovated. We've been walking alongside each other – sometimes together, sometimes apart – each doing our own exploration.

Ed has been doing his own men's work. I've been doing mine.

And we've gone to deeper levels of intimacy than we ever would have had I stayed silent.

To me, things always being the same – ticking along, fine, ho hum – is the real red alert. That's not good enough for me. And it wasn't good enough for us.

We're also role modelling something for our daughters. A healthy relationship. A healthy connection to intimacy, romance, love and sexuality.

That matters.

What I know to be true four years on

Your bisexuality is not about how much you act on it.

It's not about proving anything to anyone, including yourself.

So much of the liberation lives in conversations, in intellectual intimacy, in erotic connection that doesn't involve touch. In refined spaces that allow you to feel satiated and fully expressed.

I've found those spaces. I've been in them. And I can tell you that they exist, they're available to you, and they will give you a complete top-up of aliveness every single time you walk into one.

I'm currently a hostess and ambassador for Skirt Club — one of those spaces — which runs absolutely exhilarating monthly events in Australia. If there's an event near you, go. Don't wait for the next one. Don't schedule yourself for later.

You’re alive now.

But – and this is important – you do need to take some form of action. You can't just admit it to yourself and have absolutely nothing change. That admission is one powerful step. But something needs to follow it that allows this part of you to expand and express.

It doesn't have to be dramatic. It doesn't have to be public. It doesn't have to cost you your relationship or your reputation.

But it does need a home.

What's available for you as a bi-curious woman

If you're currently presenting to the world as heterosexual, in a committed long-term relationship with a man, quietly carrying your bisexual truth — I know exactly what that's like.

I know the challenges. I know the fear. I know the longing.

And I want you to know: there are ways to honour this part of yourself without placing any threat on your relationship. Ways to satisfy your curiosity, express this aspect of your identity and find your personal power and pleasure — just for you, without judgment or shame.

The volume doesn't have to stay turned down.

In fact, four years on from when I recorded the original episode, I can tell you with complete certainty:

The volume is just getting turned up.

And I want the same for you.

If you're ready to stop carrying this quietly and find your clearest way forward — book your private Exploration Call with me here.