Alcohol. It has facilitated countless experiences of sex. It's murky. It has some good points but it can make our orgasm flatline. Here's my take on when you should and shouldn't drink to get into sex...
Tapping into your power means getting closer to your anatomy and I have sourced two ways to do this! Via underwear and via no underwear so I thought I'd talk to you today about your cycle (if you cycle) and the power of pants that can help you during that time of the month and then what to do the rest of the month from a sexologist’s perspective.
I’m coming to you today from my bedroom! I thought I would speak to you today about the power of your bedroom and the importance of it…the importance of having a sexual space that is really aligned with being sexual and it might sound weird but it's an important piece that heaps of women overlook. They start to think that they can just have sex in any old space and that it won't affect the quality or the satisfaction that they receive from their sexual interactions with their partners. But for women, nothing could be further from the truth.
Working out what you do and don't like in sex is tricky because it's very easy to get really stuck in your own sexual experience. Everything starts to blur a little bit. Until you have a tool to really clarify what you do and don't like in sex or what might be a future possibility, it's easier to just feel really deflated, frustrated and feel like there's a lot that you don't like and not very much that you do like. (Which isn’t the truth, I hope!) So without further adieu, here is my favourite tool to work out what you do and don’t like in sex...
Today I wanted to talk to you about coming and seeing a sex therapist or a sexologist because I think there a few misconceptions lurking around about what it's actually like. I want you to know straight-up that you don't have to have a history of trauma or abuse, you don't have to come as a couple and what we really talk about in sessions.
Today’s topic is a not so well known desire killer for couples. When a woman starts speaking to me about her sex life or lack of sex life and what could be getting in the way, this one stands out pretty early on because its known to squash desire. Squash attraction and squash interest in sex. When it comes up, it’s really obvious...
I want to talk to you today about anxiety in sex. And apprehension. And all the fear and jumbled, heavy, dense emotions that swell through sex for women. I did a post recently that said anxiety doesn’t want you to be sexual and I thought that I could expand upon it today because it is the reason why women come to me for coaching. It is this experience of being blocked, shutting down, numb and completely lacking libido. So much of that can be traced back to the fact that they feel anxious about sex.
You have a big libido. It is boundless and has everything and nothing to do with sex.
Your libido can rage and roar for the non-sexual and leave nothing in reserve for sex.
I have a high libido but it doesn’t translate clearly or directly to sex. My libido is my power source and it can burn so brightly that it burns out. I don’t like to admit this. When I use the word power source, I don’t necessarily mean it as a fuel but representative of my actual power.
That first year after birth is a strange time for sex and intimacy. There is such a broad range of experiences BUT a lot of common themes. This blog is the pure permission granter for not much to happen in the bedroom after you have a baby and the reasons why. If all of this goes over your head, just take this away - you can be sexual and a mother (truth).
The easiest option out has always been to agree with whatever opinion or argument is flying thick and fast at the time. I have heard too many times ‘it’s just easier if I agree with them’ (insert co-worker, friend, partner, family member here).
By the time women come and see me, they are so tired of not being heard. Because we can’t be heard if we don’t speak up.
We can’t be understood if no one is privy to who we are inside. Our preferences, our tastes, our turn-offs, our pleasures and our points of view.
We women kind of end up being a blank canvas without texture when we don’t allow our uniqueness space to express.
A client said to me recently that she wanted to make sure that she was the cool wife in her relationship. I started getting pictures in my mind of what that looked like and whilst she filled in the gaps with references of keeping the peace, she said that she played the cool wife because she definitely did not want to be the bitch wife...
The more you know your truest self and all your light and shadow and shame and sexuality and all that you are, the less you need to escape from yourself. The more you know how to let the wild part of you out, the less you need to rely on a substance to do it for you.
This is about all the ways you can unleash your wild woman - simply and drug and alcohol free.