Sex isn’t everything in a relationship but when it is bad or crap…well, it starts to become pretty darn important. Now, it may not be a reflection of you two as a couple - more a reflection of bad habits. Deep breath before you read this one - it’s a truth talk extravaganza. I’m getting real with you about some of the reasons why your relationship might not outlast the bad sex that’s happening.
This time around, we aren’t going to talk about the why’s or the what happened’s that got you in a place of low libido, low desire and low interest although, those are important. Today, we are going to talk about 5 things you can do to break the ice when it has been a long time since you had sex. Totally realistic and totally gentle, I promise.
So many women aren't just checked out in sex...they are in active worry. It's gotta stop so we can get out of our heads and into our bodies. Here's a few tips and reasons why you need to look out for you in sex (and PS - you are so worthy!)
You are a mother, mum, mom, mama but you don’t feel sexy. You just don’t think your body is sexy now that it’s different. This one pains me - you have the potential to start seeing yourself as sexy as you are now. No more wasted energy on empty wishes and destructive thoughts. It’s time to own it mama and that is the sexiest characteristic of them all.
Thousands of women go through pregnancy loss every year - how does intimacy and our relationship come out the other side of that? I’m so fortunate to call Lauren a friend after we met when we were selected to give our TED-like talks at the Women’s Health + Fitness Summit last year. We decided to talk more now that the dust has settled on our big talks by doing a Facebook Live special talking Intimacy after pregnancy loss. Featuring Lauren Hewes of Tiny Ladder.
The people who make the best givers are those who know how to receive. Yup, I stand by that! Last weeks blog was ALL about receiving and getting to a much better place with that. Now, I want women to create better boundaries and containers around their giving so that it comes from a much healthier, less martyr-mode driven place. This one is important.
Women, women, women. We can’t just be ALL give. It’s a boring narrative and we are missing out on some really deep and liberating experiences when we don’t allow ourselves to receive. Let’s flip the script starting now - here are 3 ways you can warm up to receiving in life + sex when you are so hot for giving.
If you know me and you’ve read Permission you might be wondering why I am espousing sex toys in a blog. But hear me out - these aren’t your usual sex toys from a sex toy shop all garish and tacky. This really is the good girls guide to sex toys that do MORE than a vibrator IMO!
You have said to me: Lauren, we want V A R I E T Y in our sex life BUT…we don’t actually know what to do. What IS there besides intercourse? I hear you. Maybe you’ve forgotten. Maybe you’ve both become complacent and said…just put it in. Maybe, you just want it all over and done with. I’m putting it out there that there is another way. Actually, 9+ other ways. Read on…
Motherhood. It might not sound sexy but I believe it can be. Most relationships just need a few tweaks and some communication lines to open up to keep accessing intimacy through this often challenging and testing time. We get real in this one so plug in your earphones and nod along.
Sex and relationship coach Haley Helveston recently interviewed me on Instagram live and we talked all things permission, being a high achiever, feeling anxious, Permission, pressure, orgasm and money! That’s a lot for just 30 mins! Have a read and pick out the pearls - I spoke them just for you…