The easiest option out has always been to agree with whatever opinion or argument is flying thick and fast at the time. I have heard too many times ‘it’s just easier if I agree with them’ (insert co-worker, friend, partner, family member here).
By the time women come and see me, they are so tired of not being heard. Because we can’t be heard if we don’t speak up.
We can’t be understood if no one is privy to who we are inside. Our preferences, our tastes, our turn-offs, our pleasures and our points of view.
We women kind of end up being a blank canvas without texture when we don’t allow our uniqueness space to express.
A client said to me recently that she wanted to make sure that she was the cool wife in her relationship. I started getting pictures in my mind of what that looked like and whilst she filled in the gaps with references of keeping the peace, she said that she played the cool wife because she definitely did not want to be the bitch wife...
The more you know your truest self and all your light and shadow and shame and sexuality and all that you are, the less you need to escape from yourself. The more you know how to let the wild part of you out, the less you need to rely on a substance to do it for you.
This is about all the ways you can unleash your wild woman - simply and drug and alcohol free.
I’m the confident woman that has had her confidence shaken in so many realms of my life. As I have dived deeper into personal work (and trust me, sexuality work is the deepest work you can do so I have been living in a kind of deep end for years) I find that the need to clear crap from my body and psyche can be done quickly and rather painlessly. Clearing through the throat and speaking up is really effective for me and occasionally I like to do this publicly to feel truly released...
It’s no secret that millions of women avoid sex. Sometimes we avoid it when we don’t feel safe; sometimes we avoid it when we know there is nothing in it for us.
What we don’t talk about is how we avoid sex when we don’t feel confident. This point becomes even more perplexing when we don’t feel confident enough to be sexual with the one that we love.
Women are honestly puzzled. The equation of I love him/her therefore I should want to have sex with him doesn’t add up. And forcing it to equal sexual harmony is putting more pressure on her already dwindling confidence.
Women mumble the words 'Sex feels like a chore' to me on a weekly basis. No, I don't think this is a bad thing, it's more a case of untapped potential in your sex life. I'm going to offer you some real world solutions to getting out of feeling like sex is a chore to bringing in the satisfaction and coming back to the point of sex: pleasure.
When you think of an act of rebellion, you probably don't think of self-pleasure (formally known as masturbation). But it was and still is because the power women express when they are solely responsible for their own pleasure threatens millions. Relying on yourself for arousal and pleasure is empowering and there are so many bonuses because it strips away so much stress that can come into partner sex. In short, get into it (or...get onto yourself?)
It's 2017. 99.9% of porn is boring, fake and downright degrading.
You - you are real and I want you to know that. I'm addressing you - the woman who keeps trying to be someone that she is not. I'm telling you right now that pressure will extinguish your flame and keep your true sexual nature far, far away.
They are easy to get, affordable and fun. They make it all seem so simple – that when this product is used in sex then my hang-ups will magically dissolve. Yet so much of it doesn’t even scratch the surface of truly helping women and the stunning web that is female sexuality.
This blog is about Elly* and here I share her story about what does work when sex toys, lingerie, porn and courses don't.
Touch is the external expression of a feeling or a desire to create a feeling. And as the receiver, we know that touch is loaded with a feeling and an intention. We know when it is creepy, when it is invasive and when it is healing and nurturing.
Either way, when you touch someone, there is an agreement. All too often, it is a silent agreement and it is usually when the touch is finished that the dissatisfaction is spoken to. It does not have to play out this way.
To get some clarity on touch, here are three different touch styles that you can bring into your sex life tonight...
Fact: The rules of sex that govern your intimate life are actively feeding the blocks that you have about sex.
The best news is that sex doesn’t have any rules. The only foundation that everyone must have is that it is safe and consensual between two adults. Beyond that there's freedom. There’s liberation. There’s choice.
Learn the 3 biggest rules of sex you have to break to get to the pleasure.
My career endorsed labels to no end. Working in mental health, drug and alcohol and then Sexology, it was all about the labels. They are useful, they make sure people get the right treatment and medications. Important right?
Can I ask you now how labels have shaped your world?