Ooooh I love talking about the money.
Why? Money is a part of life that isn't going anywhere. It's an energy that allows us to create the life that we want and access what we need. Money also has the potential to reflect our worth and women especially need this message.
Money is a way of stating: this is important to me. This is what I value.
It’s highly likely that to see a sex therapist, you’ll need to part with money.
When you want to see a sex therapist, you might be worried about what will happen in sessions. The next thing you might be worried about is the cost.
What does it cost to see a sex therapist?
In today's sex therapy blog I'm going to share with you what money you will probably need to part with to see a sex therapist and why you need to start seeing this as an investment rather than a cost.
Sex Therapy Sessions
Sex therapists and sexologists who work with clients most typically offer sessions usually do so with sessions lasting from 50 minutes to closer to 2 hours.
I personally see my clients for 90 minutes for the first session so that we have plenty of time to feel comfortable and get to know each other and for the client to share her history and where she would like to go. For me, the first session being 60 minutes feels a bit rushed and 90 minutes allows me to share relevant information as to why she is shutting down in sex.
For one session with a sex therapist, I would definitely prepare to pay $100 and up and as to a final number – there is no cap on how much can be charged in this free market.
I would be very wary of paying less than $100 a session in 2019 – as a client accessing services, I personally wouldn’t see anyone for less than this price in any field – I prefer to see people that have more experience under their belt (but we’ve all got to start somewhere) and I pay for results so check out be sure to check out their reputation and testimonials.
What you are paying for…
Some sex therapists charge session to session and others offer a package of total sessions.
I’ve done both in the past. Currently, I have a package option because I value commitment and showing up. My Open to Receiving Process happens over 3 months and includes a copy of my book Permission and full access to my online course Bedroom Basics as on-boarding gifts and the investment is $997 per month for a 3 month minimum commitment.
The way my own payments are structured take several factors into consideration:
The unique skill set I have – Sexology degrees are rare (there are 2 in Oz and I did the best one), the degree itself is an investment and I received the award for highest academic achievement. So yeah. I’m devoted + smart ;)
The time in session with a client and work out of session. It’s so easy to think of sex therapy sessions as an hourly rate as ‘that is all I get’ but that simply isn’t true. Corresponding with you out of session is included in pricing and then there is always prep before a session and small things to do afterwards that you don’t see as a client.
Any good sex therapist will also be constantly investing in themselves through professional development. I put this before so many other things in life because I value lifelong learning. I want to be incredible at what I do and really help change women’s lives. That means I need to keep evolving and that is time and money.
Know that a sex therapy practice is a business - not a community service that is government funded. Businesses cost money to run and there are so many costs that pop up along the way. Everything you see when you look at a business had a cost attached to it. I am beyond grateful to pay for my business expenses because they help me to reach my dream clients. It feels really good to reach them but yeah – I gotta pay for that and so do other sex therapists. Oh and don’t forget GST and us paying for our own superannuation and holiday and sick leave! Sexy, right?
In my own practice I see small numbers of clients – the sheer presence of being a sex therapist in sessions is like being a surgeon! The day I don’t feel present and engaged, I’m going to stop being a sex therapist. I see about 12 clients a week and the rest of the time, I am tending to my website, writing free and paid content and up-levelling in sex, life and business. When I up-level for me, you benefit.
Some sex therapists are in a position and have fulfilled the requirement for Medicare and or private health rebates. This can be alluring because it means that you only pay for a gap. I honestly could pursue this pathway BUT the cost of me doing this isn’t worth it – and I don’t mean monetarily. The very short version is, I don’t want my process to be constrained by any external bodies. I’d worked in public health for years and have operated in a ‘system’ and now I’m out on my own, I don’t want to replicate that.
Mental health care plan - I am not 100% certain if any clients qualify in Australia for sessions under the mental health care plan with a psychologist who is also trained in sex therapy. Perhaps that could meet the criteria if there is trauma to be processed but I’m not certain. In the case of mental health care plans, up to 12 sessions are free, which is wonderful for people who otherwise wouldn’t be able to access this important support and treatment.
Please know with private sessions and 1.1 work – sometimes (read: oftentimes), you get what you pay for…
Before you tighten your purse strings with which sex therapist you see, I implore you to ensure that the sex therapist comes across as a good match for you.
This is the most important step you can take. If the therapeutic relationship is solid and there is a connection (aka rapport) then you will get more from the process. I've had clients see sex therapists long ago that they didn't connect with and it deterred them from engaging in the process and that, in turn, stalled their sexual growth. You've gotta connect with the sex therapist. It's worth the investment.
And on that note of investment, attending sex therapy sessions is an investment in you. You are paying someone else so that you can invest in solving this problem that you have. Not just for now but the long term.
You gotta part with your money to gain your sexuality.
Seeing the money you spend on sex therapy can default into 'cost' territory but when I invest in myself I put it this way...
What is the cost if I don't take this step?
Usually, if something is causing me pain and distress, I will pay to get rid of that problem because it is costing me in other ways. My health, my sanity, my relationship, my life satisfaction, my home...
And suddenly, it seems silly to not part with the money to make my life easier and I am willing to let other stuff take a backseat like non-essentials. I mean, if I say my health, home and relationship are important, that means I am willing to invest in them to keep them solid. On my deathbed, am I going to be cursing the money I invested in my relationship or am I going to be wishing I had done something about it?
It’s totally normal to have to pay for information and advice.
The funny thing about sex is that so few of us were given adequate information about it. We are in the dark and there is no shame in paying someone to learn about it. It will make your life easier and a whole lot less awkward. Better than trawling through questionable Google searches for days on end - you could be spending that time being over your problem already.
We all need to do this with other facets of our life – our car, home, accounts…you name it – there is a professional that is dedicated to that cause. It’s the same for sex therapy. We get it and we sex therapists have devoted lots of time and attention to it to ensure that a really big topic is made digestible and approachable for you.
So, have a think.
How much is this problem costing you?
How much do you wish it wasn’t a problem anymore?
If you’re a woman who is sick of your sexual problems (hey, this happened to me!) and you want to do something about them, then it’s time for us to talk and have you feeling a whole lot better. It’s time for you to gain your sexuality by investing in yourself. You ready? Head straight to my sessions page to request your free private discussion with me!