I get asked this on a regular basis - surely by now there is some sort of pill a woman can take when she feels her libido could be more. In this video, I explain why I am glad there isn't a pill for the female libido and what else you can do to enhance presence and arousal. Refreshingly, your body already has all the answers...
When women come and see me in sessions, I am very aware of the fact that (if she is in a relationship) that I am also, in some ways, seeing her partner in sessions as well…without actually seeing him. We women have created some habits that we need your support to shift. There's so much we want men to know about us but we get stuck with how to tell you. So today, I am playing translator to let men know how they can support their female partner when it feels like she is checking out of their sex life.
Touch is the external expression of a feeling or a desire to create a feeling. And as the receiver, we know that touch is loaded with a feeling and an intention. We know when it is creepy, when it is invasive and when it is healing and nurturing.
Either way, when you touch someone, there is an agreement. All too often, it is a silent agreement and it is usually when the touch is finished that the dissatisfaction is spoken to. It does not have to play out this way.
To get some clarity on touch, here are three different touch styles that you can bring into your sex life tonight...
You both know that it's been a while. A long while. The absence of sex looms in the space between you on the couch, milling in the kitchen, brushing your teeth in the bathroom and most obviously in the bed you share. You can't recall the last time you had sex and if you do, it was a drunken tryst - an anomaly in the pattern of your predictability as a twosome.
Without trusted guidance, sexual arousal or conversely, numbness, can be difficult to navigate in a real life sexual situation, whether alone or with others. The beauty of tantric bodywork is that the knowledge that is accessed is all within you; shifting the dynamic from having a sexual experience where something is done to you to sourcing your unique sexual philosophy for yourself with your coach onside. This fosters independence rather than dependence so that you are equipped to draw on what you learnt during your sessions for years to come.
Do you need intimacy before sex or does sex create intimacy? There is no right answer but sometimes I hear women saying that they want more intimacy when they really mean more passion (romantic feelings, physical attraction and sexual desire). There isn’t a formula for creating intimacy but there are some useful suggestions and guidance available.
The more you look at oxytocin, the more amazing it appears. Beyond its role in uterine contractions and maternal bonding with baby, it is seen to be vital to human adaptive responses in the formation of monogamous pair-bonds, sexual arousal and orgasm, peer to peer social interaction, social memory, trust and anxiety reduction.