sexosophy

3 and 3 – Three things I have learnt about LIFE and three things I have learnt about SEX on my 33rd birthday

3 and 3 – Three things I have learnt about LIFE and three things I have learnt about SEX on my 33rd birthday

Thirty-three. Three and three. This is my list of three life lessons you must follow and three big pearls about sex I have learnt in the last (you guessed it!) 33 years. I quickly deemed a list of 33 just way too long. And too much pressure. And I couldn’t be bothered because I need to get onto buying a cheesecake. Priorities.

HOT MAMAS: How sex and motherhood are hot!

HOT MAMAS: How sex and motherhood are hot!

Woah! August was officially about sex and motherhood for me. Although the month has come to a close, it doesn't mean the topic has to. I have loved sharing more of my recent wisdom around sex and mamahood and how these two concepts can get along - if we let them! So, here goes. A summary of what I shared with Mamas this month:

SEXUAL ENERGY: Cross-training your sex life

SEXUAL ENERGY: Cross-training your sex life

Cross-training your sex life involves injecting novelty and variety inward. But rather than suggest old favourites like lingerie or a night at a hotel, I’d like to guide you more towards creating some long-lasting pathways that will really mean something to you.

FEMALE SEXUALITY: How motherhood is shifting my Sexosophy

FEMALE SEXUALITY: How motherhood is shifting my Sexosophy

A sex therapist once told me it can take 12 to 18 months for a woman’s hormones to re-calibrate to a normal level after birth, meaning that we need to be very kind to ourselves and to shift our expectations around our capabilities as we remember them. What I mean is that it is no longer about this is what I used to be able to do. It is now about asking yourself what is it that I am capable of now?

FEMALE SEXUALITY: New year, new Sexosophy

When the clock turned over to 2014, did you make a pledge to yourself or your partner that this would be the year that you address your sexual concerns? You know, those niggling worries that may go unnoticed for a while but then somehow reappear when sex is propositioned, causing a spiral of thinking that says “there is something wrong with me”.

SEXUAL REGRET: Sex in darkness, regret in daylight

If the sex was hot but you feel morally conflicted about it, we are left with the remnants to decipher and a choice as to whether we incorporate that experience into our Sexosophy or leave it behind us. What this means is that the experience that accompanies sexual regret is huge at the time and can steal a lot of our head space trying to process it.

SEX COACHING: Who goes to a sex coach?

The real answer is that clients are real people that are ready to reflect back on where their sexuality has taken them and how they can access it in other ways and on deeper levels. They present to sex coaching knowing that it is possible to feel more of their sexuality but are unsure of the means to get there.

SEXUAL DESIRE: Why is it so hard?

So, what is the answer to this age-old question? My guess is that there are a number of factors that are making sex less than enticing and whilst sex can be a great stress reliever, it can be challenging to go from daily stress up at 100 to sex at 0 without any cushioning to help us get there.

ORGASM: A good sex muscle can help

ORGASM: A good sex muscle can help

Our Pubococcygeus (PC) muscle saddles our pelvic floor and is responsible for urine flow, enhancing orgasm and sexual pleasure and supporting women’s internal sexual anatomy (especially during pregnancy). The eastern world has known for years that our sex muscle can mean improved sexual functioning and health.