I wanted to take the time today to explore what is going on for her internally and to propose what she can do to experience this act of elation, this act of opening, this act of vulnerability with the person that she loves most. The focus here is on having her orgasm witnessed or seen by her partner – not what he can do to make her come (not my niche). I have found that this issue really isn’t about the skills in sex - this isn't about him not having the ability to facilitate her arousal and help her move towards orgasm. The block is more with her holding her own orgasm back.
A whole month dedicated to the art and craft of self-pleasure - oh YES!
Before I go on to explain all the why's of self-pleasure (or its other moniker masturbation) let's just all say it outright. Talking about masturbation is an awkward dialogue. The only reason why it feels far less awkward for me is because it has become more common and natural with increased frequency. I also now don't see it as a jerk-off session but a space to cherish your sexual energy - in whatever form it takes.
We all love the notion of a quick fix; that reading an article will emancipate us from our sexual woes, hang-ups and boredom. Being a sexologist doesn’t absolve you from this tendency as I too secretly scan articles online after being lured in by the flashy title. But feel into these little nuggets below and begin your own personal makeover by turning a passive read into active sexual energy.