boundaries

Turn-up series #1: The cost of being the cool wife

Turn-up series #1: The cost of being the cool wife

A client said to me recently that she wanted to make sure that she was the cool wife in her relationship. I started getting pictures in my mind of what that looked like and whilst she filled in the gaps with references of keeping the peace, she said that she played the cool wife because she definitely did not want to be the bitch wife...

RELIGION is blocking my sex life

RELIGION is blocking my sex life

Before I got married at 25 and well before I learnt about sex, I went through a deeply religious phase. I was devoted to the Christian faith. At the time, it felt like a dirty little secret. I hardly told anyone that I loved reading books that took me deeper into faith. The sense of ritual, the tests of unwavering faith, the hope and the ancient wisdom that felt unshakable. It all felt like the only answer to any human problem and my inner good girl was completely in her element on this path of study and obsession. But where was my sexuality?

WOMEN: The Sexual Boundaries you have to have.

WOMEN: The Sexual Boundaries you have to have.

I've worked with far too many women in long-term relationships that are completely giving their power over in sex in the name of love, compromise and giving. They haven't listened to their heart or their body and the end result is that they are going through sexual shutdown and aversion. But it isn't a one-off event that has them turning away from sex, but a series of events, sometimes appearing small and innocuous. And because so many women have enormous hearts and we put others before ourselves, we accidentally keep hurting ourselves and are actively turning ourselves off sex...

COUPLES: The Slow Burn

COUPLES: The Slow Burn

Good satisfying sex can come later and it is refreshing putting in effort towards something that you are not reminiscing about and does not leave you pining for the past. When these pairings go from sound strength to quiet strength and are adaptable, there is deeper pleasure and authentic satisfaction, of this I am sure.

COUPLES: How enmeshment stops sex

COUPLES: How enmeshment stops sex

The mystery of why close and connected couples rarely have sex is no longer a mystery. It would be lovely if getting on well meant getting off but this does not always transpire. We often believe that the intimacy of early days when we couldn’t meld anymore than we did was meant to carry on through the rest of the relationship…right?