From the sexologists desk: Permission Book UPDATE


I am so happy you are here and have found my site!

If you haven't met me before, I'm Lauren - a sexologist of almost 6 years and I wanted to write a post today to tell you about how I am writing a book!

But this isn't just your run of the mill mini's a book-book!

Now that is a lot of exclamation marks!!!

And just so you know, I am writing it for you.

I am writing the book that I wish I had when I was first curious about learning more about female sexuality (rather than going on the very long but infinitely rewarding journey that I went on).

So, what goes into a book about female sexuality?

Well, because female sexuality is endless, so too are the angles on it but the one I have decided to take is...


It's a big word and there is some buzz around it in the self-help/personal growth circles but it doesn't always get the full attention it deserves. I don't believe everything you are resistant about or reluctant to do can be reduced to: just give yourself permission.

To be clear, the call to write a book called Permission was STRONG.

And the whole process thus far has been a dream.

I got the idea to write Permission: Personal liberation for switched on women on September 1st 2017. I was at my local cafe and it came through to me and I started scrawling away - following my instincts and noticing weirdly how the word permission was already at the top of a blank page - like a solo word with no substance attached.

At that time, I had few clients and had plenty of space to just keep following, writing and brewing all the ideas that came to me. It sounded like...

Oohhhh - women need permission to be this...

Women need permission to be that...

Everything I wrote down was wisdom that I wish had been parted with me, not only years ago but even more recently.

Then it occurred to me...that is the whole point of permission - to be self-sourcing as to what gets your green light to go ahead and what gets your red light to stop.

So, since September 2017, I have been living as my own permission granter through and through - writing about it for women and embodying it wherever I can (hey, sometimes we all need a little help and that is what we are all here for!)

I'm writing Permission for my clients (and me) - the high achieving women that still have the essence of the good girl inside that wants to make sure that everyone else is happy first. 

Essentially, Permission is about coming into your personal and sexual life as you are rather than trying to pretend you are someone else. Because I believe that you can be serious, in control, choosy, have boundaries AND be sexual. It is totally possible, just most of us haven't gotten that message...anywhere.

I want to celebrate women as they are rather than being an echo in a world of telling women that they aren't enough or need to do MORE. 

Fuck that!

How about instead we all just own what makes us tick and what works for us rather than feeling anxious and out of place all the time. 

Permission has been a call for me to create where I belong so other women can feel like they belong too. Revolutionary!

I'm a total geek that loves writing!

I'm a total geek that loves writing!

Back to 2017.

As the months ticked on and I kept writing, I knew this was going to be something that I followed through with because I am not a fan of loose ends!

I kept being provided with the space to write as a few more clients came on board to work with me at the end of the year. Funnily enough, all my public workshops and offerings were cancelled for one reason or another and the message was - I can't keep doing all the things. More specifically:

Lauren, just keep writing your book and seeing clients. That is all you need to do.

And it was as if I was being re-programmed to slow the fuck down after having my second baby and trying to do ALL the things.

Yeeaaaaaah. Doing ALL the things doesn't work.

Lesson learnt.

In December 2017 I felt a pull to look at one of my favourite authors websites and noticed that she offered book editing. My heart was racing, my body a flutter with tingling. I knew I wanted to work with her. She had both the experience of self-publishing and working with a publishing house and I suspected there was a lot I could learn through her in more ways than one.

We emailed back and forth and at the beginning of February 2018, locked it in to work on Permission together.

I was elated to say the least. Beyond excited were words that I repeated to myself and others.

(BTW - her name is Lisa Lister and she does brilliant women's work that centres around menstrual cycles, moon cycles, loving our lady landscapes, witchcraft and our primal knowing. Yup, she's a badass and has been one of my biggest permission granters. I suggest following her on Instagram to get regular doses of wisdom from her). 

The timing of everything has been kind of eery in this process.

1st September the idea came to me.

1st March I gave the first draft back to Lisa.

1st June I will give the second draft back to Lisa.

It all feels very similar to pregnancy with trimesters and a birth at the end (and of course, the final pushes!)

Between June and September will be final edits and copy edit so it is all suited to being in an actual book format. Lisa is helping with publishing as this is a part of the process that juices her up (and totally bamboozles me!)

The release date is scheduled for 24th September 2018 and I'm about to get woo woo on you...

This date will be at the time of the spring equinox in the southern hemisphere, which is totally fertile in all the definitions. We will also have a full moon AND we will be in my sun sign of Libra. The time just feels...right.

It will also provide me with plenty of time to do some behind the scenes stuff between final edits and the release date. My plan is to create a bunch of free content that is attached to the book a la book club style. I'd also really love to re-purpose some of the content that didn't make the cut in the book because I have a lot to say and share ;) A really sweet bonus of all of this is to find my tribe of women without a creepy free Facebook group.

So, if I am a little slow on my blog and vlog this year, you know why! I really am moving with the art of doing one or two things well rather than trying to do a lot of scatty things at once. Life has shown me that I can't really do that anymore. It doesn't feel good and doesn't have my green light (hey! there's that permission I was talking about!)

Lauren White Author

I really believe Permission has the potential to spread far and wide and to reach women that I otherwise wouldn't be able to have contact with. This really excites me and keeps me going when it all feels very isolating. I have found it a strange process of writing for women in solitude so that I can reach them in their solitude. 

So far, it has been the most enjoyable and satisfying project I have ever worked on. I have never wanted to quit or give up. The motivation and pulse is strong and I have had some really magical experiences on a really woo-woo level that I will tell you about in a later post.

Thank you for being here and stay tuned for more helpful blogs (the ideas are a plenty right now!) and book updates.

Until next time,

Lauren xo

P.S. The best ways to stay up-to-date with me are through my libido letters list (sign up in the footer - all private and confidential) and Instagram where I share a lot of the writing process through Instagram stories.