Feelings

Permission to feel angry : Why you need to stop suppressing what you really feel

Permission to feel angry : Why you need to stop suppressing what you really feel

Women aren’t meant to get angry. That’s an emotion for men. Sure, we can feel a little frustrated or edgy but anger? No. Way.

Your anger is valid and you have permission to not only feel it but express it. Find out what could be triggering off anger when it comes to sex and intimacy and how you can get it out of you.

Permission to open : Why do I shutdown in sex?

Permission to open : Why do I shutdown in sex?

You’ve shutdown in and about sex more times than you can remember. There may have been a pivotal moment you’ll never forget or maybe it was this gradual disconnection that happened over time. Each factor compounding the last. Whatever the origin, I want to give you permission to open and move out of sexual shutdown…

Your libido and money - reflections of worth and pleasure

Your libido and money - reflections of worth and pleasure

Libido….

Money….

Is there a connection there? I reckon there is! When women get clear on their worth and on the money that comes into their lives, they get more comfortable within their sexual expression because their bodies aren’t in fear and contraction. When the money and worth flows nicely, so too does the sexual energy…

How to prioritise your sex life when you are busy

How to prioritise your sex life when you are busy

Busy, flustered, run down and overwhelmed are the name of the modern-day game. But all of these states spell something seriously toxic for your beautiful libido.

This blog needs to come with a warning for it’s exceptionally high level of truth talk where I kindly inform you that you aren’t actually busy (but you are choosing to be) and how you can create space for intimacy all by unearthing a few old time blocks.

How to feel sexually confident with your partner (when you’re feeling anxious)

How to feel sexually confident with your partner (when you’re feeling anxious)

There is a gap that exists between anxiety and confidence. A leap even.

It isn’t too hard to close this gap, you’ve just got to believe that anxiety isn’t your permanent state and that everything you need to become the sexual woman is inside of you. Seriously. Anxiety wants to tell you that this is how it is only, it doesn’t always tell the truth. Let’s reduce your anxiety so that you can come into confidence with the following 5 tips.

If he’s the love of my life, then why am I not sexually interested in my husband?

If he’s the love of my life, then why am I not sexually interested in my husband?

Long-term relationships are riddled with sexual disinterest. But why?

Shouldn’t things get better as our love grows deeper? One of the biggest conundrums my clients have is getting their heads and bodies around the fact that you can feel safe and in love but not want to have sex. If this is you, read on to get some insights into what could be going on and what you can shift to get the interest flowing again.

What do you do if you are not sexually satisfied? (rather than pretend you don’t care)

What do you do if you are not sexually satisfied? (rather than pretend you don’t care)

Ahhh satisfaction - that sweet end point where we hunger no more.

But how do we know when we feel it? How do we know when we have arrived? 

Only you can answer that one so if you are feeling like frustration is ruling your bedroom and satisfaction is nowhere to be seen, read this one to make sure you aren't accidentally overlooking your sexual satisfaction (it could well be right in front of you!)

COUPLES: 5 ways to get into sex and intimacy on holidays

COUPLES: 5 ways to get into sex and intimacy on holidays

Your holiday is booked. You are so ready for the relaxation part but then you get tense thinking about all that time alone with your partner. You know they are going to want to have sex, maybe more often than usual because you are obligation free. Crap. What excuses can you use not to? What new ways can you avoid them? Well, rather than shutdown, I reckon you've got it in you to OPEN up. Here are 5 ways you can do that to make for some good quality holiday sex...

Low sex drive in women: why you have lost interest in sex (and what to do about it)

Low sex drive in women: why you have lost interest in sex (and what to do about it)

The only way you can even think to describe your sex drive is that it is low or non-existent. The only way you can even begin to describe your interest in sex is that there isn't any. But you love your partner (if you have one) and you really want to say goodbye to these persistent blocks that prevent you from feeling intimate and into IT. Deep breath, this is a deep journey into your sex drive and interest in sex. Read it all and feel yourself already walking away from inhibition and being checked-out of your own personal life.

FEELINGS: Increasing your self worth by day to increase it by night

FEELINGS: Increasing your self worth by day to increase it by night

Self-worth and sex. They are inextricable. The benefit of having solid self-worth is that we start to understand the points in our lives where we are holding ourselves back from not only what we want to call in now but what we want to call in for the future as well. I really want to ask you today, is your life and sex life on a loop because your low self-worth isn’t igniting you to take any action?

MINDSET: Why you need to stop thinking of sex as dirty

MINDSET: Why you need to stop thinking of sex as dirty

Recently, I was talking to a client about lying in the mess. You probably already know you have a problem with mess if you spring out of bed as soon as sex is finished (and it isn't just to do a wee because you are worried about a UTI). You find the mess of sex, like the fluids and lubrication all a bit messy. And messy makes you screw your nose up. Today I am asking if you could try befriending the mess a little more...

Why your anxiety and apprehension about sex is normal

Why your anxiety and apprehension about sex is normal

I want to talk to you today about anxiety in sex. And apprehension. And all the fear and jumbled, heavy, dense emotions that swell through sex for women. I did a post recently that said anxiety doesn’t want you to be sexual and I thought that I could expand upon it today because it is the reason why women come to me for coaching. It is this experience of being blocked, shutting down, numb and completely lacking libido. So much of that can be traced back to the fact that they feel anxious about sex.

Why you have a high libido (even when you think you don’t)

Why you have a high libido (even when you think you don’t)

You have a big libido. It is boundless and has everything and nothing to do with sex.

Your libido can rage and roar for the non-sexual and leave nothing in reserve for sex.

I have a high libido but it doesn’t translate clearly or directly to sex. My libido is my power source and it can burn so brightly that it burns out. I don’t like to admit this. When I use the word power source, I don’t necessarily mean it as a fuel but representative of my actual power.

Guess what happens when I don’t feel my power?

Turn up series #2: Start speaking up

Turn up series #2: Start speaking up

The easiest option out has always been to agree with whatever opinion or argument is flying thick and fast at the time. I have heard too many times ‘it’s just easier if I agree with them’ (insert co-worker, friend, partner, family member here).

By the time women come and see me, they are so tired of not being heard. Because we can’t be heard if we don’t speak up.

We can’t be understood if no one is privy to who we are inside. Our preferences, our tastes, our turn-offs, our pleasures and our points of view.

We women kind of end up being a blank canvas without texture when we don’t allow our uniqueness space to express.

This post contains the antidotes.

Turn-up series #1: The cost of being the cool wife

Turn-up series #1: The cost of being the cool wife

A client said to me recently that she wanted to make sure that she was the cool wife in her relationship. I started getting pictures in my mind of what that looked like and whilst she filled in the gaps with references of keeping the peace, she said that she played the cool wife because she definitely did not want to be the bitch wife...

Confidence Series #3: How to let your wild woman out (without booze or drugs)

Confidence Series #3: How to let your wild woman out (without booze or drugs)

The more you know your truest self and all your light and shadow and shame and sexuality and all that you are, the less you need to escape from yourself. The more you know how to let the wild part of you out, the less you need to rely on a substance to do it for you.

This is about all the ways you can unleash your wild woman - simply and drug and alcohol free. 

Confidence Series #2 : The reasons why I shouldn't feel confident (but do anyway)

Confidence Series #2 : The reasons why I shouldn't feel confident (but do anyway)

I’m the confident woman that has had her confidence shaken in so many realms of my life. As I have dived deeper into personal work (and trust me, sexuality work is the deepest work you can do so I have been living in a kind of deep end for years) I find that the need to clear crap from my body and psyche can be done quickly and rather painlessly. Clearing through the throat and speaking up is really effective for me and occasionally I like to do this publicly to feel truly released...

How to make sex easy when it feels like a chore

How to make sex easy when it feels like a chore

Women mumble the words 'Sex feels like a chore' to me on a weekly basis. No, I don't think this is a bad thing, it's more a case of untapped potential in your sex life. I'm going to offer you some real world solutions to getting out of feeling like sex is a chore to bringing in the satisfaction and coming back to the point of sex: pleasure.

FEELINGS: The best question a client has ever asked me

FEELINGS: The best question a client has ever asked me

She then, for the first time in her life, described what she felt through her chest and the colour of it. We went on to explore what it meant to HER. It was all around her heart and she saw green (the colour of the heart chakra). It was so beautiful and so touching. Her body wanted to speak and she was ready to listen...