FROM THE SEXOLOGISTS DESK: I am the desire huntress

It hit me all of a sudden.

The words spun around and around my body. 

I don't wait for desire.

But I used to. 

I’ve had my fair share of time being sexually passive. I won’t deny that the era of Austen and Bronte permeated my sense of romanticism (which was the same as sexuality to me back then). Women waited, they were patient, they were stealth. Because it is only this way that you received the reward of love and maybe a flush of the cheeks.

It stops me still when I recall that my favourite line of poetry was:

She was always waiting.

It seemed to be her forte.

I just kept eating this stuff up – re-enforcing that everything would come to me if I remained inactive.

Yeah. That worked well.

What the classic writers failed to (or couldn’t) acknowledge was the active ingredients within women’s sexuality – the huntress that pursues until she permeates. She is penetrative (very yang!)

So, now I am willing to share my core learning. Deep-breath-IN.

The nugget that took five plus years to reveal itself to me.

The reason why my sexuality evolved from being stuck, turning away from sex, being passive, stopping sex and denying pleasure TO asking for pleasure, being sexually satisfied, attuned to my body’s sensations and ultimately a sex goddess.

I don’t wait for desire.

I chase desire

I pursue desire

I hunt desire

I spur desire

I coax desire

Because being active within my own sexuality has been the golden ticket to reclaiming my identity.

Sexual passivity remains in a recoil positing. It cowers and hides. Women need to be not only self-centred in the act of sex but in our pursual of it in the day-to-day.

No more magic wand and no more waiting.

No more pleasure envy and no more pleasure denial.

And the martyr who gives and gives and gives has had her day too.

We have to ask for desire within ourselves. We have to ask our partners if they can meet our desire. We have to start at the one point in our body that says yes (note: body, not mind).

So, where do you start?

How do you become a huntress?

I’m glad you asked.

New pleasure workshops are coming soon.

Sign up to my newsletter and follow on social media. The huntress in you is ready to hunt for her desire.

Lauren xo