My Journal 2012:
I want to access orgasmic energy. I am sensing a need for change but feeling so apprehensive about it at the same time. I question what may come out of the woodwork with tantric bodywork sessions and if there is some memory within my loins that I remain completely unaware of. Will the shifts that the healing brings me cause pain through their pleasure because I am not accustomed to feeling sexually liberated? What words will escape my mouth…will I treat it as a confession?
As a sexuality coach and educator for women that provides a talk-based approach to assist sexual concerns, I have often felt that there is more juicy, heartfelt, bodily wisdom to impart with my clients but have long felt an invisible barrier contain my words and actions. As practice is integral to any form of education to move new skills from being unfamiliar to familiar, I found that the benefits of talk can only go so far with some of my clients and that we were yet to reach and stir-up the deep reasons why they were seeing me.
On learning about the practice of sexological bodywork (tantric bodywork) 4 years ago, I long vacillated between the reinforced notion that we do not touch our clients as therapists and the lived experience as a client of bodywork; how its extraordinary benefits enriched my personal life and sexual scope. When it came to my own business, Sexosophy, I asked if I would dare to let my heart’s truth take lead over my head’s indoctrination. This. Is. Scary. Terrain.
Well, my heart has won and I am happy to say that somatic sessions are now one of my offerings. I am excited to share more with former, current and future clients about this emerging craft that has sustained my attention and passion.
Tantric bodywork is one of those practices that can jolt people into a reactionary ‘that’s just wrong’ approach straight up. After all, touch like that only exists with sex work, right?
But what makes tantric bodywork so profound is integrity. As a bodyworker, I do as I say.
Tantric bodyworkers model and impart 5 pillars with their clients that function to increase, plateau or decrease emotional, energetic and physical states through breath, movement, touch, sound and presence. They walk alongside their clients, often following the client’s lead so that individuals and couples have the space to create new pathways of arousal, pleasure and sensation whilst gently moving through the blockages that can inhibit their true desires and connection. A session can involve one-way touch (with gloves) from the fully clothed bodyworker who holds an overarching intention to educate and empower their clients’ to embody their own sexual and erotic expression.
Consent is central to tantric bodywork and dialogue that confirms an authentic yes or an authentic no from the body is an ongoing process. Why? Because all too often we are oblivious to our body saying no during sex and accidentally betray it through an action of yes, particularly as our arousal escalates. By simulating a space that it safe and welcoming of pleasure, anger, eroticism, blockages and feedback (i.e. natural human states), clients develop a felt sense of how they can honour their bodies with a neutral person rather than succumb to the familiar conditioning of the mind.
Without trusted guidance, sexual arousal or conversely, numbness, can be difficult to navigate in a real life sexual situation, whether alone or with others. The beauty of tantric bodywork is that the knowledge that is accessed is all within you; shifting the dynamic from having a sexual experience where something is done to you to sourcing your unique sexual philosophy for yourself with your coach onside. This fosters independence rather than dependence so that you are equipped to draw on what you learnt during your sessions for years to come. It is then that cognitive knowledge becomes bodily wisdom.
My final piece of journaling after experiencing tantric bodywork sessions: I felt connected even though I was alone and I knew that this realm of sexual energy was the answer to so many of my questions…I wanted more orgasmic energy in the day to day as I started seeing it as the answer for so many ailments and the liberator of all those anxieties, burdens and fears that we hold on to. Our sex is certainly at the centre of it all.