FEMALE SEXUALITY: How motherhood is shifting my Sexosophy

Slowly emerging from the fog that is an overdue pregnancy and four months of baby love is now allowing me to reflect a little more clearly. Whilst I am yet to feel equilibrium (and may not touch on this for a LONG time) I believe I have been graced with an even greater capacity for love, bonding, empathy, humanity and connection. And whilst these are not finite concepts, I now have a felt sense of how there can be a mismatch translating this juiciness to your sexuality because sometimes, your physical energy or cognitive space just can’t match these overwhelming feelings. 

Looking around my new practice space, I know things are a little different than they used to be. For one, there is a baby monitor where a business phone used to be and the luxury of divulging my own sexosophy whenever I pleased takes a lot more careful planning. When I was practicing sex coaching before maternity leave, I felt I could still connect with the shared experience of mothers worldwide…that experience that starts with exhaustion and ends in disinterest. I guess looking back my understanding was very cerebral – I got it. But now, I really get it; throughout my body and being. This interestingly enough goes beyond all mothers to all women. The depth of my passion is carving new wisdom and an expansion of relatability. 

Post-pregnancy, the changes within your body can be profound and are not often spoken about or depicted with much positivity. A sex therapist once told me it can take 12 to 18 months for a woman’s hormones to re-calibrate to a normal level after birth, meaning that we need to be very kind to ourselves and to shift our expectations around our capabilities as we remember them. What I mean is that it is no longer about this is what I used to be able to do. It is now about asking yourself what is it that I am capable of now?

Personally, I am consistently reverting to a space without judgment. Note that the judgment still arises as it can be a default that changing and aging can bestow upon us. My body looks different and doesn’t move with the same fluidity as it used to but how will being at odds with the naturalness of this process nourish my own sexosophy? In short, not a whole lot. When I feel the temptation to dive down a rabbit hole into being defeated, I know this is my cue to withdraw and come back to my values. See, sexuality isn’t fostered by negativity and self-loathing. It responds best to tenderness, active attempts to move with it and a whole lot of fun. The correlation is clear – a closed mind and body will close down libido. 

Life now has new challenges and I am attempting to put effort into being flexible and adaptable by learning what may work in real life, not what a program or textbook says. In essence, this chapter of life will only work to enrich my understanding of and focus on you and your sexual experiences as a client. I am looking forward to re-connecting with the beautiful women that are drawn to Sexosophy and sharing more insights in the very near future. 

Lauren xo