It is time for more women to have sex like a man.
There’s a caveat on this though.
This is about having sex like a man that is completely in his mature masculine.
This man is clear, grounded, present, powerful, a conscious communicator and above all, he is comfortable in absorbing energy and touch.
He is penetrative in many respects but doesn’t push.
He takes but he doesn’t violate.
Female sexuality is inherently different from male sexuality in many respects. We are changeable when men are focused. We are giving when they are taking. When women come to sex coaching sessions, their men want them to be exhibiting a style of sexuality that is more, well, like their own.
When men have sex they are all in – his mind, his body and his heart. When women have sex, they can be distractible, on and then quickly off, they really want their man and then they don’t. They try to keep up with their man in pace – hot and fast are strong contenders but women find their body always feels a few steps behind. This puts the brake on her pleasure. And fast.
In the name of variety we need hot and fast sex sometimes. It is its own flavour that is extremely enjoyable when sexuality converges in that beautiful way it does.
+Adopt presence: Men are present because they multi-task less than women do in ALL facets of their lives. If we are to be present in sex we need to practice this in non-sexual situations – especially at work or around the house where we see multiple obligations that need to be address STAT. If women can notice and stay with ONE thing at a time, we increase our chances of doing this in sex exponentially. To increase presence, my clients learn about breath, movement, touch and sound and all of their intricacies. When combined together, this is potent alchemy to get out of your head and into your pussy. Take your attention and breath down into your pelvis and facilitate your own arousal rather than keeping the blood up in your head.
+Timing: The best time in your cycle to have sex like a man is when you are ovulating because you have the ultimate symphony of hormones humming that boost libido and desire. You are generally the most outgoing, adventurous, playful and social at this time. You have a heat and fire in your solar plexus that makes men want you. Cash in and use this to generate high-energy, genital fuelled sex! The fine print: this is less distinctive if you are on hormonal contraception (sad face).
+Get in the zone of absorbing from him: When we absorb from another there is permission to touch their body the way that we want to touch them. Women are so used to defaulting to the giving zone (particularly as a distraction from their own needs – easy to do when these aren’t clear to either of you) that they can be unfamiliar with what it is like to take. With our bodies being symbolic of receptivity through the vagina; we have come to be this so much so in sex that we neglect this part of us that wants to pull our partners hair, change position all of a sudden and feel their cock inside of us the way that we want their cock inside of us. Feel the difference? Women need to shift from complying to leading with the mantra – this is how I want to ravish you. This is how your body gives me pleasure.
+Penetrate him: Yes – penetrate him wherever his consent allows. He will likely want to play with being receptive – it is respite from being penetrative! You can penetrate and play with any orifice, just making sure that the size of the object or finger you choose is a good match! Anal massage is a great way of skimming the edges of penetration and teasing out his external sphincter. Much like a vagina, it will close if it isn’t receptive so take your time and use plenty of oil, clean hands or a good quality sex toy.
And above all – MOVE woman! Don’t go straight into lying down. Start sex upright and move over him. Embody some of his movements and actions so that having sex like a man starts straight from the start. Now that’s hot.