In a world of more, more, more and increased pressure and sensation, it is a strange thing that we are losing so much of our ability to feel. We eat more to feel more full, watch one more of that show to feel more suspense and increase the vibration to the maximum to feel more of the sex inside. And sometimes, our sex sits idly in the middle. Sort of there but sort of not.
If you have ever stopped and wondered why you feel so numb then the good news is that you have already started the process of exploring your sexual self. Sexual numbness or numbness with sex has a pretty tight bond with low sexual desire and low sexual arousal, which makes perfect sense. If we don’t feel sex physically, emotionally or spiritually then we aren’t going to crave that experience again anytime soon. Sex is partly about reward and to want it again, there needs to be some pleasure associated.
You may have felt sexually numb all your life or you may have noticed a gradual decline in your sensation. However you have gotten to a point of sexual numbness, the most important thing to remember is that you don’t have to remain this way…if you don’t want to.
If you are reading this, then there is a part of you that knows that things could be better – that when you go to act on your natural urges that a genuine response will follow and that when your sexual partner goes to touch you, the arousal within will begin to swell. Just fantasising about that possibility can help to start melting the iceberg inside.
Sexual numbness isn’t an all-bad phenomenon. What it tells us is that something has changed and that something needs to change. It’s time for a personal search to begin because staying in a state of sexual numbness creates dissatisfying patterns of avoiding sex and the intimacy it can provide. For personalised guidance about differences in sexual desire, libido, sexual conflicts, sexual frustration, sex in long-term relationships and the benefits of sex coaching sessions, go to my sessions page.