After having a mosey around Sexpo yesterday, I realised that a number of lubricants caught my eye. There are heaps available these days and whilst different textures are better suited to different types of toys and sex acts, I was wondering how important it is for some people to have a lube that is flavoured. A few I had a tester taste of were purely synthetic to me and I questioned: why would we be drawn to mask the taste of a sexual body? This then led me to think a little more about oral sex.
Oral sex has a pretty strong legion of followers and rightfully so. Lush, heartfelt and intuitive oral sex can take us into unchartered territory in the pleasure stakes. When someone is happy to give oral and the other happy to receive, we can move into a dynamic where witnessing someone get to those giddying heights can stoke our own flame…
But what if you don’t enjoy giving? What if you don’t enjoy receiving? I’d encourage you to have a think about what might be behind either of these.
-Is it a negative or unwanted experience?
-Anxiety over how your sexual anatomy looks, feels or smells?
-Unfamiliarity with your partner’s body?
-Is it difficult to ask for the type of oral that you want?
This can be a challenge and I suspect that asking for what you want may be difficult whilst your sexual partner is in the midst of giving. So perhaps a pep-talk before sex begins is in order - with a few negotiated cue words to give feedback. Try and choose the times where it is most important to give feedback and to balance it out with some compliments too.
Oral sex may be sensitive terrain but getting the talk about it rolling between you and your partner/s can reap big rewards.