FOREPLAY: What constitutes it?

It may sound like a simple question with a simple answer but the reality is that the idea of foreplay is changing as time progresses with many people now categorising almost anything but penile/vaginal, penile/anal intercourse or use of a dildo as foreplay. But I’m keen to debunk that idea today because so many of us are keen to get to the intercourse component that the other stages can be…lacklustre or just plain lacking. Maybe in our world of fast = better, our sex life has come to take on the same characteristics and we aren’t tenderly and patiently building up some of that orgasmic energy that leads to more satisfying release and connectedness.

Foreplay can be defined as a set of emotionally intimate and physically intimate acts between two or more people meant to create sexual arousal and desire for sexual activity. It involves getting prepared for all different forms of sexual expression and is usually what gets our arousal ignited by focusing on the pleasurable sensations of taking our clothes off, being kissed, massaged, stroked, touched, teased and fondled. This preliminary stage cannot be overstated because it is the point where we can clear the air about what we want and desire; it allows us the space to positively reinforce what our sexual partner is doing to facilitate our pleasure and it psychologically and physiologically prepares us to graduate to intercourse, if that’s what is mutually desired. So much beauty and authentic pleasure lies in the simplicity of touch and anticipation and it can be seen as a bit of a chore. But give it some love and warranted focus next time and who knows; you might just start to feel satiated with that.

Lauren xo