SEXUAL REJECTION: How personal is it?

Rejection is something we experience every day but we often don’t name it. We offer something to someone and they refuse; we get overlooked and ignored when navigating through the shops and we check social media only to see that no-one has responded. Powerful emotions arise with rejection and I wonder how we can deal with these in a healthy way?

As our daily existence often mirrors our sexuality, if we struggle internally with rejection throughout the day, then I presume that there is a correlation with sex. No doubt about it, rejection and sex intertwined is pretty personal – we are vulnerable, exposed and willing only to be swiftly met with shutdown from the other person.

This hurts, whether it is from the first attempt at a kiss or someone stopping mid-sex because they don’t feel it or have rightfully changed their mind. What can come up has strength, even if it is a wave of numbness. If rejection becomes blood boiling anger for you, try to bring it back to your breath until you get the clarity to say what you mean. Our egos can be fragile entities but we need to remember that we are not the only one in the dynamic and that rejection is not always about us. It can be more about what the other person needs to process and handle at a particular point in time.

When we become comfortable with rejection, we step into our maturity. And that is difficult for anyone to reject. For personalised guidance about libido, orgasm, sex drive, sexual conflicts and sex in long-term relationships, go to my sessions page.

Lauren xo